We ignore joy
This week, I'll be sharing some lessons I've learned as a wellness counselor. These are things I've observed in my clients and in myself—maybe you'll recognize them too.
5 THINGS WE ALL GET WRONG WHEN IT COMES TO WELLNESS:
1) WE IGNORE JOY.
One of the first questions I ask my clients is “when do you feel the most joy and gratitude?” Although it seems simple, I find people struggle to answer the question because they’re trying to give me an answer that feels productive or relevant to a wellness conversation.
I personally feel most joyful sitting on a park bench by myself drinking coffee, listening to music, and people watching. What does that have to do with my sense of balance? Or my relationship? My career? Well, more than you know.
Joy is our expression of alignment—alignment within ourselves and with the world around us. It’s our mind and body’s way of signaling something here is working for us. When we pay attention to this signal, we can find incredibly useful clues for our well-being.
Coupling habits. Rituals are more likely to stick if we enjoy them. Attaching a “healthy” habit to a joyful one is a really easy way to integrate new practices into your daily and/or weekly routines. Stretch while you watch your favorite TV show, walk to your weekly dinner date with your partner, or practice breathing exercises while you sit on that park bench. Find what feels good and build from there.
Qualities to cultivate. When we look to the qualities behind joyful experiences rather than stopping at the absolutes, we can find many more ways to come back into alignment. Take my park bench example. As much as I wish it was, sitting on a park bench people watching is not a job. I can’t support my life being the embodiment of a retired grandpa. However, the qualities of that experience are more telling.
I have full agency and autonomy in that moment. I don't have to think about anyone else's plans or priorities for the day. I'm on my schedule and my schedule alone.
I’m in observation of people. I think humans are fascinating. I love watching people in the simple moments of life, catching snippets of their conversation as they stroll by.
I’m surrounded by nature. Nature soothes my spirit and resets my mind. Trees, in particular, are my most powerful teachers and therapists.
I feel like I'm a part of community. I smile and chat with people as they walk by with their babies and their puppies. It reminds me that I'm by myself, but never alone.
Now, does it make more sense that I am in business with and for myself listening to people tell me the intimate details of their mind-body system—from their emotions to their bowel movements? Is it any surprise that I study Ayurveda and share its teachings on how we are not separate from nature but rather an expression of it?
Please don’t discount your joy. It has so, so much to teach you.